Lost...

.... Cinta, jangan tinggalkan aku kerna takkan pernah ada cinta selain dirimu

Jika kau tinggalkan aku, sanggupkah diriku menghapus segala bayangmu oh kekasihku....

Lagu: Segala Bayangmu by Ornito

I'm listening repeatedly to this song.. I dunno why almost all Indonesian hits memberi kesan to me... I really enjoy listening to jiwang-jiwang stuff.. When I do listen to my song lists, terbuai-buai rasa jiwa.. kekeke.. How do we live without music? I believe I couldn't...

Actually, apa yang ingin ku luahkan anie, lately, I felt really miserable... Fighting with my feelings, dunno why... Well of course my career always bothers my mind... Dah lebih 5 years I work with this company but I still couldn't find myself happy with my work... Jangan kan pikirkan pasal satisfaction... Tak tau lah nak cakap apa... Adakah aku nda pandai besyukur dengan rezeki yang diberi Allah untuk ku? Aku buntu... Aku seolah-olah merasakan aku teraniaya bila aku sendiri tak pasti apa motif sebenar org atasan ku... 

Sekarang nie, environment kat opis memang jauh berbeza dengan dulu... Finance team dulu bersatu, worked as one team.. sekarang nie, kitaorang buat kerja masing2... Kalau dulu, ada masalah, orang atasan akan tanggung bersama... Now, era tu dah berlalu... Kalau ko buat salah, ko sendiri lah yang tanggung... yess... Sebab tu, aku hilang respek dengan org atasan ku dah... Baru2 nie, especially di bulan posa nie, memang pun kitaorang kena balik awal dari biasa, jam 3. Tapikan, org atasan ku, macam tak paham saja yang kita nie Muslim. Buat2 tak tahu yg jam dah pukul 3.  Yang brengseknya, tanya kitaorang balik pukul berapa (coz aku balik driver yang antar)... Dah kasi tau balik pukul 3, tapi tak jugak release2 aku sampai kul4. Paling pantang bila isu pasal agama ani dipermainkan... Memang dah tak der respek kat org atasanku... 

Again, aku selalu bilang sama bos ku yang kerja ku anie menimbun berlambak manakan inda... alum abis satu, satu lagi... lepas tu, dia warning plak kat saya, jangan tangguh2kan keje tu... Oi mcm kan tercabut saja inda nyawaku anie, menyiapkan keraja atu... Kasi tau pun tak derr gunanya.. Mth-end baru nie, si dia minta tolong kat i, untuk menyiapkan partnya... Aku dengan bsainya dah gto kedia keraja ku banyak, nda sure dpt tolong kah nda... Dia bilang apanah, " Appreciate your help." Memajal kali ah.... Bulehhhhhhh.... Dalam erti kata yang lain - aku kena lah kerja lebih masa di bulan posa nie... 

STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS

I really dunno how to move forward... Stress berabis!! 

Sebab tu tepikir gak nak cari kerja lain... Kata org, money doesn't buy happiness.. Well, if I was to consider kerja pat lain, I'm losing a lot monthly, quarterly, yearly... monthly dah rugi 2K?? 

Ya Allah, berikanlah petunjuk dan hidayahMu agar aku dapat melangkahkan perjalanan hidupku ke arah yang diredhai... Amin!!

psst: sorry pasal language yang ku pakai ada yang terlebih sudah.. pyh jua ah meluahkan perasaan cakap melayu campur anie ah.. harap2 org yg ku cakapi ani takkan pernah paham apa yg ku coretkan anie..

OFF!!

Tomoro...

Well well, dat was a short 1, packing dat is!! Done with it... Rite now, I dunno wat my feeling is... Of course, I know I will certainly miss both boys... Since tomoro nite I'll be sleeping without them by my side :( ohh i cant help thinking about it... Hope I'll remember to bring their pillows with me, otherwise I will merenyek-renyek mengacau my lau kung not to sleep and to entertain me all thru the nite. Tak caya kan?? Can't help it.. It's the mother's feeling.. Some say I'm just too worried. Watever ppl say, they are free to say... It's me, I know well myself...

Last nite, before Faris and myself went to sleep, I kept saying when I'm not around, pls sleep wiv nini and take care of Farid.. He just noded his head.. 

Harap2 kali ani, 3 malam atu nda terasa... sekajap ja berlalu... if i could skip the tym... huh... 

Today...

I am so down... bored like what... a lot of work to settle before going on leave but my mood seems to disappear a week ago... bila takde mood, susah mo buat semua keraja nie.. terutama sekali kerja routine yg mmg lama dh hilang minat..

Mujurlah bos tadi masuk... distribute this cute pen 2 all of us!! He asked me to choose whether I wanted light or dark brown. I picked light brown as it looks nice 2 my eyes!! Siapa menjangka bos yg mmg nda diminati kasi we all souvenir from his hometown, Canada!! After all, I know he's still a nice person deep down in his heart. Mmg keje nya yg membuatkan dia terpaksa jadi org yg dibenci di cni... But well, as long as he doesn't demand anything beyond my capabilities, I still can survive working here. Of course lah, sekali sekala komplen gak coz dia nie jenis yg jam-jam atu jua mo nya... tak nak tolak ansur ckit... Neways, thks 2 him 4 remembering us!! Bila lagi dia nak cuti yerr?? ehem ehem....

Birthday Greetings 2009

A year older... Just wondering y we are sooo happy when it comes to our birthday? It's a PLUS one to our age??? Anyway, with family, friends and relatives' greetings, I'm thankful dat they still remember this so-called special day of mine... Ohhh probably now we have the 'reminder' service from facebook... It's easier to just refer to it than to remember by hard everyone's birthdate... I got a question from my eldest prince yesterday when we had our routine telephone conversation after school hours. He asked me, 'mama bday hari ani, ma??' And, I remembered well he mentioned bday cake... <<>

Anyway, anyhow, I just would like to record all the greetings so that it wont slip out of my mind and thoughts... Thanks to all of you!!

On the 3rd of August,

12.30 am: Happy birthday syg.. smoga panjng umur, murah rezeki, sihat2 slalu dsmping kmi yg tsyg - Lau kung

12.54am: hepi bday 2 HIP-547... blanja makan?? - Alai

6.29am: Happy birthday meh.. may u hv a beautiful day today n every single day throughout the 30th yr of ur life.. semoga ceria n bahagia selalu.. :) - Sander

9.13am: Salam meh... Happy 30th B'day! Many happy returns with ur beloved family! Take care :) - Memet

9.47am: Hpy bdy nime! - Siti Mahani

10.13am: Happy Birthday... semoga panjang umur.. murah rezeki. amin. From: zal&dd. P/S ada special kah?

4.03pm: Happy bday kak emy, yg ke berapa 2? Huhu moga panjang umur n d murahkan rezeki, ada party kh? Huhuhu - Ejo

5.43pm: Happy birthday - Adli

8.11pm: Happy bestday dang.. - Hjh K

4/8/09 10.39am: Happy b'day dang. Semalam kn mengreet ko tpi aku kurang sihat. - Tini

Oso, recd phone call from my supervisor about 9am ystrdy, email from Alison, face-2-face greetings from OPP colleagues (and Annie), 2 bday cards from OPP & BSB office (i'm lucky in dis sense to have 2 offices!!) and lots of greetings from facebook. Hope to screenshots them and will keep them here immediately.

Thanks also to Mary for belanja me lunch ystrdy!!

To OPP staff & management for the cutting cake and singing bday song ceremony at the control room...

For the special treat from my close family, ikut sibuk2 preparing for our small gathering, last nite.. Today, I had spent my lunch wiv 2 of my special colleagues - Hjh K and Ainul. It was a last-minute offer.. Luckily, they could make it!! Thks for the ride nul!! Thks to both 4 de time spent together..

Looking forward to have our special special gathering tomorrow!! Can't wait but have to wait!! Huh, penantian satu seksaan!!